Staring into the Abyss

Sometimes we all get disillusioned with ‘the Hobby’, be it tabletop gaming or RPGs or collectable card games.  It happens for a myriad of reasons: constant defeat with your favourite deck or army, feeling like your character never has the spotlight in an RPG, or sometimes, it can be because you are struggling to pay the bills or deal with life in general.

At 42 years old, as an avid player who has traversed the ups and downs of the gaming world, the most heartfelt advice I can give you is: don’t quit. 

There is very little satisfaction in letting the great game of life beat you, even if it feels like your other games are letting you down. I have found a great truth, in that when you’re a gamer, you’re a gamer. It’s in your blood, it calls to you… and you will always come back eventually. 

Twice in my life, I have considered walking away from gaming. One day there may be a third but at this point I doubt it, I have become more aware of the cycle.

A long time ago in my struggling university days, mi-goreng became the only meal I could afford after paying rent, and a free cup of tea from the Salvo’s was something I looked forward to. It was at this point I turned to selling my magic collection… not going to lie, I didn’t get much for it, but it got me out of trouble for a whole fortnight. 

Sadly, this is still something I look back on and regret. I treasured those cards, and I probably could have made sacrifices in other parts of my life to keep them. Surely I could have moved to phone credit from a plan for a little while, heck, I didn’t have the money to go out, only knew like six people to call anyway, and lived down the road from a pay phone. At the time it seemed the sensible option though, I couldn’t improve my decks, didn’t have the money to, and was getting hammered at the table most of the time. In the end, if you really have no other choice but to sell off your card or book or model collection, life comes first. You can always rebuild your hobby, the break doesn’t have to be permanent, but it is something to think about closely.

The second real time I considered quitting gaming was after the closing of the GamesHound shop. A lot of my gaming friends went to the store and I played them regularly, but suddenly I couldn’t look them in the eye. It felt like I had failed them. In an instant a weekend game with the mates or walking into another game store became a barrier I couldn’t cross. 

I realised though, as I said, it’s in your blood. It’s in mine, and I missed my friends and those mad chats and laughs, the crazy dice karma and yes, even the frustrating moments. I missed it all and wanted it back. So here I am again trying to organize weekend meets, or Friday pizza and board games, Sunday afternoon magic, anything I can to see my mates and play some games.

After all these years I can’t say I haven’t soured on some things: the arrival of Primaris Marines really burned my Blood Angels for me, Primaris were getting all the attention, and suddenly my chapter was robbed of its uniqueness. My squad members were reduced to having all the same weapon, where was the character of my chapter? Also, they killed my ‘Warhammer Fantasy’ for ‘Age of Sigmar’… AGE OF SIGMAR! REALLY?!?!

Of course, I do still have my Drukhari, my Nids and Cults, my burgeoning Necrons, and rumours swirl that WH Fantasy is coming back! Age of SIgmar is starting to peak my interest, as is ‘Warhammer Underworlds’. I still have my new Magic collection and my Corvus Belli Infinity.

The beauty of gaming is that games change, and so do you, but classics still remain and you can play them all… and keep playing them, in one form or another. You can walk away for a while, but something inside never really quits, because in quitting you only find a deeper hole.

Gaming is part of my soul, an important part like my big dumb dog and my beautiful wife who games with me. Gamers are my tribe, my pack and together we are stronger. 

Quitting…? Who said anything about quitting!  🙂